When you fill out your profile on Dating app, you end up prioritizing characteristics like your hobbies, your height, and your star sign. This way, you may leave something important aside.
According to a study published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychologypeople feel more satisfied with app profiles when they describe what they are looking for in a partner.
In each case, people were more satisfied when they felt known than when they felt they knew the other person.
“Of course, people say they want to know and support their partner. But in reality, that's not the thing that makes them happiest. People feel happier in relationships in which they feel supported, and to do that, they need to be known,” says Juliana Schroeder, author of the study. “.
It seems that this phenomenon does not only occur with romantic couples. In other types of personal relationships, such as friendship, neighbors, family, co-workers, and casual acquaintances, the same is true as well.
Understand the research
First, the researchers asked a group of participants to rate three things about their family members, partners, or friends: how well they thought they knew the person, how well they thought they knew them, and how satisfied they were with their relationship on a scale of one. To seven.
In this way, they realized that the majority of participants thought they knew the other person better than they did. This effect was called the asymmetric vision illusion.
“People think they're unique and special and have a lot of complexity, so other people don't know the real you,” Schroeder explained. Thus, researchers believe that because people feel that it is rare for someone to truly know them, they value it more in their relationships.
In another study, scientists presented participants with one of two scenarios. First, they met an acquaintance at a party and this person had forgotten his name. In the second scenario, the situation was reversed and they forgot the person's name.
“If you forget their name, it's not good for the relationship, but if they forget your name, it's much worse — the relationship is over,” Schroeder says.
Doing excercise
Transferring these concepts to dating app profiles, Schroeder and Fishbach hired a team of research assistants to examine profiles on dating apps and websites. They analyzed the descriptions and concluded that the vast majority of profiles are filled out only in order to get recognized.
Overall, about 50% of profiles talked more about what they would like their partner to know about themselves. Only 20% expressed a desire to meet their potential partner.
Finally, the scientists asked research participants to write their profiles, focusing on the desire to be known or the desire to get to know the other person. Other people then rated these profiles on a scale from one to seven, taking into account how attractive they were.
According to the results, they discovered that people prefer a profile that emphasizes the desire to get to know the other person.
“What they want to do is say, 'I really care about you, and I'm going to get to know you and I'm going to be there for you and listen to you and be a great partner,'” Schroeder concludes.
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